It has been here all along-the guiding light I have been looking for. Hubby's business is springing into action now that the rain has gone away. Yippee! It allows us to have a sense of progress, an opportunity to work together, and an example for the kids to follow. Even if this business stays small potatoes, at least it is a venture. That is all one can ask for. Step by step I am watching the transformation of not only my husband, but my children as they see that one can take an idea and make it a reality. This dream is just a glimmer at this point, but continues to gain momentum. As we head into the second year of this business venture, I can't help but think that it is more than business. It is a light for my family to focus on.
See this lighthouse....it is supposed to be a guiding light, a warning, a gatekeeper. Yet the light is not working. I am the lighthouse in this picture=broken and unable to guide this young lady as she goes through the rough waters of teenage angst. She is trying to manage so much and needs me to help her avoid the rocks that lie hidden in the deep murky waters. Yet my light is not helping. I am only guiding her ship into the waves that will throw her upon those rocks. God help me.
That is all I know right now. God help me. Why can't I get it right. I quit drinking, I lost weight to get healthy, I have prayed. God I pray. Yet I am no help. I need my own lighthouse, as I hit the rocks in my life. I know marriage is full of its ups and downs. I know I am blessed beyond belief. Help me to keep perspective and get this ship on course.
Angels poured out their love today. My cousin's daughter was awaiting a prognosis on a tumor found in her abdomen. Thank God the results were benign!
This family has endured so much that I cannot imagine that they would have to face any more calamity for the rest of their lives. I am in awe of their faith and fortitude. I only can hope that I can keep their strength in mind when I start quibbling about the mundane in my life. I should be so lucky that my life lacks drama.
It makes no sense how some people can give so much to life and yet life keeps offering profound challenges to them anyway. I am thankful that this trial will be a quick one for my cousin and his beautiful family.
May angels surround little Katie's bedside and offer her peace and happiness as she goes through the final procedures of removing her tumor.
The event that is about to take place once again takes a lot of preparation. We are scurrying around gathering food and gifts for those we love and those we are trying to love. It is a call to action. Bring the light back to the darkening Earth. No easy feat....
Imagine the journey to Bethlehem. Long and isolated, the two lovers carried the best gift our world would receive. They simply just put one foot in front of the other. Surely, they looked up from their feet to see the bright light that led their way.
Is that not what we are supposed to do? Put one foot in front of the last and keep an eye out for the wonder along the way. I see it in the stores when a mom drops down to her knees to see the world from her son's perspective. It is apparent when the boxes full of toiletries and trinkets are shipped out to people half way around the world. My heart explodes everyday as I watch for the light in the darkness. I imagine it to be much like catching lightening bugs in a jar.
So as the serotonin levels drop as the sun hides its face, I remind myself depression is a natural part of the human experience. Depression gives us the opportunity to stop and reflect and take stock of all that is around us. The key is not to keep your head down on the ground, but lift up and see the light that is about to shine.
Thanks be to God!
I just read this amazing poem written by another blogger that has so inspired and moved me. He has captured a feeling that expresses exactly where I am at right now.
To put it in my own words would be a hatchet job so I will just have to say that crux of it for me is this: whilst we feel in control, we must always remember the mighty spirit, which is invisible to the eye, but ever so present, moves through our hearts and minds much the same way that the wind moves through this field.
My prayers are being answered each day. As I ask for the help in escaping a new prison, the keys are given freely. It seems I escape one prison, only to find myself locked in yet another. I guess this is what keeps me close to God. I know I can never do it alone. I must always reach out for the power of our Creator.
As I work through what seems like trivial troubles compared to those of others, I understand that I am not in control. The answer is blowing in the wind. My heart will continue to seek the Spirit, refusing to harden, reforming with each new release from self-imposed prisons, by the grace of God.
I have been praying about this to my mother-in-law. She passed away three Christmases ago and surely must be looking down at me with disgust. How I could abandon her son who is so loyal, such a good father, a loving husband, and devoted friend. It must make her roll over in her grave. Therefore, she is going to be my life preserver. Maureen will watch over me like a guardian angel and get me to pull my head out of the clouds (euphemism for out of my @$$) and see all the blessings in my life.
I must be thinking of her more often than not these days. For every time the power of those green eyes starts to overcome me, I will think of her. Hopefully, I can get past the lusting and back to the real loving. Loving a man that has seen me through thick and thin, drunk and sober, sanity and insanity. Yes, I must be insane not to value such a relationship and do everything in my power to save it. With the help of God all things are possible.
