I ride on this mountain every chance I get and pass by a bar that I used to visit. As I pass by on my way to the mountain, I look at this place as a prison. The horrible stench still lingers in my mind. The darkness and emptiness is devastating. I always want to yell out to the early morning revelers to break out of this prison. If I could just get one to break out of the shackles... So today as I passed on my way home I rode by the door and shouted, "Break out of that prison." I realize that this self-righteous act will not have the epiphany effect that I am hoping to affect. Still, I am compelled to continue on my crusade. Is this wrong?
Milestones are markers along the journey that help us to see how far we have come and how far we have left to go. While the obvious milestone above is about 30 days away, another passed before my eyes today. My history book seems a little more complete tonight as I watched loved ones in my family send off the matriarch of the clan. She didn't rule with an iron fist, but rather with a silk tongue. Every little utterance came with such love, which is what brought me to God. It has not been the years sitting in the pews, but rather her unconditional acceptance that has taught me faith. She did not complain when syrup was not around, but took brown sugar out and added water and said there with a smile. Grandma you will linger in my heart like the sweet taste of that "syrup."
I missed an opportunity today to reach out to my cousin. We came out of the mortuary and all I could think about was the pain my dad was feeling. My cousin stood there across from the well known triangle with the circle in it and said "I could go to a meeting right now." Unable to meet his eyes, I stumbled for the car, unable to handle my own emotions. Opportunity lost! Should you read this Cuz, please know that my heart was trying to reach yours, but I'm still so green at all of this. I am carving out the stoicism (translated-hardened heart) day by day. Please forgive me for not being able to see through your eyes at that moment. I did just as I sat down in the car, but the moment was lost. Life is like that-so much gained or lost in one fleeting moment. It is you reaching out to me in this journey of sobriety that has me looking up to you. Thank you for being such a model of love and genuineness! And thank you for my two year chip-another marker on the road, still so far yet to go......
I ride on this mountain every chance I get and pass by a bar that I used to visit. As I pass by on my way to the mountain, I look at this place as a prison. The horrible stench still lingers in my mind. The darkness and emptiness is devastating. I always want to yell out to the early morning revelers to break out of this prison. If I could just get one to break out of the shackles... So today as I passed on my way home I rode by the door and shouted, "Break out of that prison." I realize that this self-righteous act will not have the epiphany effect that I am hoping to affect. Still, I am compelled to continue on my crusade. Is this wrong?
