I have been bitten! The love bug stung me right in the heart. I don't know what to do.....I fell for a co-worker and I thought this would never happen. I work in a safe environment: mostly women. How did I get stuck on this one?I have been so busy going to the gym and cleaning up my house that I haven't written in my journal. Now I am feeling the urgent need to do so. I think that if I can compose my thoughts here, then I will be able to face my feelings out there. Maybe it is like a riptide, just swim parallel and wait until it is safe to swim ashore. All I know is that I am sick! Love sick. Forty-four years old and unable to control my thoughts or emotions. The good news is that no longer am I drowning out feelings and emotions. I am being forced to mature and learn to grapple with the natural inclinations of a woman hitting a mid-life crisis. Lord, help me. Now I understand Bill Clinton's philandering. How do you put a lid on those butterflies swarming in your stomach? I feel like a school girl anticipating every little encounter with this individual. I am so bad, that I invited him and his wife to dinner. It was bittersweet. I would catch myself lost in his eyes and have to snap out of it. Good grief, Charlie Brown! I can just hear Lucy in the back of my head trying to get to come to my senses. She is telling me that this too will pass. What if it doesn't? What if it gets worse. I don't even know why I like him. He is completely not what I would be looking for. He is about ten years older than me. He is seemingly unmotivated. He is, he is.....just not what I would picture. Yet my thoughts keep veering off the road. So here I am, trying to get my work done and instead spilling my guts, thinking that I can get it out of my system. Or does this just feed the fire?
By the way, I thought I was happily married. Does anybody relate to this?
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