Milestones

Milestones are markers along the journey that help us to see how far we have come and how far we have left to go. While the obvious milestone above is about 30 days away, another passed before my eyes today. My history book seems a little more complete tonight as I watched loved ones in my family send off the matriarch of the clan. She didn't rule with an iron fist, but rather with a silk tongue. Every little utterance came with such love, which is what brought me to God. It has not been the years sitting in the pews, but rather her unconditional acceptance that has taught me faith. She did not complain when syrup was not around, but took brown sugar out and added water and said there with a smile. Grandma you will linger in my heart like the sweet taste of that "syrup."

I missed an opportunity today to reach out to my cousin. We came out of the mortuary and all I could think about was the pain my dad was feeling. My cousin stood there across from the well known triangle with the circle in it and said "I could go to a meeting right now." Unable to meet his eyes, I stumbled for the car, unable to handle my own emotions. Opportunity lost! Should you read this Cuz, please know that my heart was trying to reach yours, but I'm still so green at all of this. I am carving out the stoicism (translated-hardened heart) day by day. Please forgive me for not being able to see through your eyes at that moment. I did just as I sat down in the car, but the moment was lost. Life is like that-so much gained or lost in one fleeting moment. It is you reaching out to me in this journey of sobriety that has me looking up to you. Thank you for being such a model of love and genuineness! And thank you for my two year chip-another marker on the road, still so far yet to go......