My heart is fucking broken!!!!! Why do I have to feel like a teenage girl. I can't get past my first broken heart. I just continue to entrap myself in these foolish desires...I thought I had found my paradise, my soul mate, my salvation. Yet I just end up with another broken heart. Why can't I see true love and accept it. Why must I pursue such elusive and empty attractions? Please God help me! Why did you make me this way. I just want to die. I have been searching for that intensity that came with my first love and it just is not going to happen. I am hurting. Please, please help me to see like you do. Help me to love like you do instead of like a little girl. Help me reach beyond this pain and be truly grateful for all that I have. Why do I have to be so selfish? Why is a kiss so important? Why do I have to feel this way? Can't you help me make it go away? Fuck!!!!! I have not wanted to die for a long time and now I just don't want to try anymore. I can't masquerade anymore. Yet, I can't just walk away. Tell me what to do. Help me to be more like Jesus. Help me to make a sacrifice for once in my life.
Okay, here goes my list of thanks:
1. God
2. Life
3. Family
4. Church
5. Teaching
6. My bike and ability to ride
7. Food
8. Warm house
9. Friends
10. Music
No comments:
Post a Comment