Poison Oak

Have you ever had poison oak? You know that burning itch that won't go away. All you want to do is scratch it until the poison juices are out of your skin. I once had to get a hydrocortisone shot and another time I had to take prednisone because the inflammation had gotten so bad. The prednisone was the worst because the withdrawl made me nuts.

This is exactly what is happening to me emotionally right now. My friend has gotten so under my skin that all I can do is think of itching it. I am telling myself this is not my fault. Yet I know that I am not the first to be smitten with another while committed to a marriage. So what is the antidote? I have no idea. I wait everyday to see him just for a moment, to share a quick conversation. I feel like a nube from The Office. I just keep praying that God will present the solution. However, even my dreams are affected. I dreamt that we were playing footsies under the table with our soles touching. Okay, this is cheesy, but I woke up thinking "soul mates." See, I am just like those dorks on The Office. So now I am so distracted I cannot even concentrate on my work. My work is my lifeline. It is what makes me feel alive. Yet, this person has been able to interrupt that lifeline and make me want to put all aside just to have a stupid cup of coffee.

Lord help me because I am powerless over this. Help me to see the truth in my heart and follow in your ways. Guide me to the path that is the best for all concerned. Horrible feelings from my teenage life are flooding in like a tidal wave.
I so wanted to be loved and once I thought I had found that love, it was ripped out from underneath me. I know that people around the world suffer fantastic trials. That my piddly little story is nothing. Help me to put this into perspective and concentrate on the true love that supercedes all these itchings. At least offer up some salve to calm the burn.